I will be the first to admit.. than when people showed me ultrasounds of their babies.. (before I was preggo) I would look at them for a second and think.. ok.. where is what.. is that an arm.. whats going on here.. than hand the photo back.. and than I had Olive.. and her first ultrasound pictures were like gold to me.. I could see her little personality in the picture.. I knew where every nook and cranny existed.. and I wanted to meet her.. and the bigger the image got.. the more I loved her.. I remember the ultra sound tech saying.. oh.. here’s your little princess!! (at my 6 week ultrasound) and I went.. “WHAT! you can tell” and she started laughing.. no.. but the heart rate is really high.. her and Dustin both laughed at me.. fast forward to my first drs appt today.. why I made it at 10:20.. I will never know.. my body has not been functioning until at least 3-4pm these days.. but I got up early.. and made my way to the appointment.. the nice thing about my hospital is that there is free valet parking! so I never have to worry about being late and running behind.. phew..
the appointment was.. well it was rough.. I loathe the thought of barfing in front of people.. it is my personal hell.. and I sat in the room with my favorite nurse Keely just trying to not get sick.. I almost had to do a run for the mini garbage can in the corner :0 she kept asking my questions while I nod my head to her answers.. than my cough got a hold of me and i was soon gagging into my fist.. it was bad.. I thought I was going down fast.. she than moved me over to lab work.. oh god.. needle fear kicking in.. I thought that was next week.. I just stared into the corner of the room while the woman with the needle
"found a great big vein to use! oh yah.. I love veins like these.. wow.. this is going to be good"
I than decided it was a good time to mention.. that I am not fond of needles.. 5 full minutes later.. seriously.. 5!!! she was done.. and I asked her if she would tell me before it was going in.. of course she says.. yah.. she did not. and than she started apologizing like crazy about it.. talking about the needle going in.. it was bad.. i could feel the dizziness start to crawl in.. and I just pictured falling off the chair while the needle dangled from my arm like a heroine junkie.. they gave me an apple juice and sent me on my way.. my nurse had also requested an ultra sound.. because of the cyst pain/endometriosis that I have carried around for 12 years.. I was really pumped.. until i remembered the water I had to drink and hold in.. gulp.. not my specialty.. I made my way home.. and than back to the hospital for the ultrasound.. it was rough.. I actually unbuttoned and zipped my pants in the lobby.. I thought I was going to be “the person who pees all over herself” thank the sweet lord they are prompt in that place.. they got me in right away.. and started pushing.. I told the lady that I didn’t want to be the first person to wet herself on the table.. she laughed and informed me.. that in the 15 years she had been doing it.. only 2 had ever done it.. I liked my odds..
today.. I saw my little baby.. it melted my heart.. it made the pregnancy more real.. I just stared at the really small peanut.. clinging to my uterus like a mountain climber.. yes.. just ONE baby.. clinging to my wall.. she said she was “pretty sure” there was only one.. and than I feared one twinnie hiding behind the other one.. but I think I can rest assure.. there is only one baby.. there is nothing more comforting.. seeing your new baby.. in a sac.. in the uterus.. ready to go..
phew..
here is the happy big sister who I am sure with loathe the day that her competition comes into the world!
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