goodbye 2010.. hello 2011..

December 31th, 2010

This has been a crazy and wild year.. and I am glad to have experienced it all.. I went from being a mama of a one year old.. to being a mama whoenjoyed her one year old..  I remember getting a card at Olives birthday that said

you did it.. you survived the first year!!

and it just resonated with me.. yes.. I survived..  those mornings I thought I was alone.. crying in a bathroom while my baby squawked in a swing in the living room.. all those afternoons where I had no time to eat and I couldn’t get my teeth brushed until 2pm.. those evenings that would roll in like a black cloud.. and I could feel my anxiety creeping in.. because I knew night time was coming.. and night time meant no sleep.. and crying babies.. and a tired mama who felt like she was going crazy..  I had survived it all.. and last year.. was just a year of enjoying the little monkey I had created! she could communicate with me.. and when she looked at me.. I knew she could see right through my eyes into my soul.. I always said when she was born that I felt like me and her have always been “old friends” together.. and it is now my turn to show her a great time on this earth.. and so.. I tried.. 

We were married In April.. we went away with 42 of our friends and family.. (which I had never done.. and probably never will do again).. we travelled half way around the world to Greece.. we knew the possibilities of ever traveling there in the next 8 years were fleeting.. so we left our baby girl in loving hands.. and we went.. and truly enjoyed ourselves.. my mama is one of the few people in the world who I have absolute trust leaving my babies with.. and we were not worried for her safety..  we just honeymoon’d and tried to reconnect the last year and a half that had slipped away and became more about dirty diapers.. and whats for dinners..  rather than I love yous.. and great jobs!  

we tried endlessly.. and succeeded in having our second love child.. and like I have mentioned before.. I never thought I could have any children..  and now.. I am spoiled with two!.. penis’.. vagina.. both.. I will take them all.. on the 6th month of trying.. I thought we were just lucky enough to have Olive.. and than it happened.. right when you let go of it all .. and give up hope.. the man upstairs takes control and sets his plan into action.. 

being a transient who has moved every 6-12 months since I was 19.. I feel so lucky to have found my “home” though it may be a rental.. this is our third year here.. and it feels great to have little spots for everything in my home.. and the warmth I feel when I come home from work feels amazing..  and knowing we were engaged here.. and raised Olive here.. and will bring our newest little baby home here.. 2011 is going to be an exciting year.. 

some changes I hope to come are simple enough.. but I know I need to work at making them happen.. I want to do more.. see more.. feel more.. love more.. I am scared to lose myself in this second child.. I want a lot less computer time.. and more colouring play dough time..  I want more date nights.. and hand holding.. 

the nesting has started.. and I am cleansing 2010’s garbage and papers.. and decorations.. and I am ready to create new ones.. with art work hung on my fridge.. and day planners packed with activities.. I want it all in 2011.. 

thank you 2010 for all you brought me and took away from me.. it was a year that I accomplished so many life moments.. and I look forward to putting you back in the cupboard and creating many more memories.. 

heres to the simple life.. because to me.. a simple life is beautiful.. 

lowered expectations.. (remember the MAD tv show)

December 29th, 2010

so after many talks with my twinny.. I have realized.. I need to lower my expectations.. and I say that in a positive way.. I cannot do it all.. especially with my lack of help/support down here.. aka.. I want my mama ;) 

This Christmas was my first time ever that I brought it down a notch.. I usually play the game of.. I should be here.. but I am here.. and than I get to the next place.. and realize how much fun that place actually was.. its never ending.. and I let all these fun moments pass me by.. because I am so worried and focused on where I could be.. but this holiday.. we just let the days flow.. and sure.. I had my list of things I wanted to accomplish.. but it wasn’t 5 miles long.. it had a few things on it.. and I accomplished them.. 

I find I beat myself up when certain fun events come up.. and I am sostinkin tired to do them.. and than I know I used to be able to do them and feel bad the whole time.. like Olives first Christmas.. she was not even 2 weeks old.. and I remember Aunty Jen coming over to visit.. and I was in my kitchen rolling out 2 dozen sugar cookies.. keeled over my island.. with my rolling pin.. making little snowmen and candy canes.. and in pain.. “but I was not going to let christmas pass me by”.. its nuts.. instead of just cuddling on the couch with my first born.. surrounded by lights and snow.. I was in pain.. and crampy and trying to hold onto my traditions.. and believe me.. I think I could have gone a year with out sugar cookies ;) 

So now.. I am getting myself into the mind set that this is just my baby making stage.. where I raise my littles into great little people.. and I dont have to say yes to everything.. and I dont have to do everything.. and I will pick the ones that I want to do.. in a couple of years.. we will have a babysitter on new years eve.. and we will buy tickets.. and go out and dance until 2am.. but that time is not this year.. of course we will still do something fun and special.. but in our style.. 

I am a Virgo.. so of course I have my lists.. I always will.. dreams and plans of where I want to go.. I actually just made one a couple days ago of where we should travel on certain anniversaries.. so far.. I have Bali for our 5 year!! (can you tell I just watched Eat Pray Love!)

that will be me.. on my bike.. in the heat.. going to the market.. (perhaps with Javier Bardem ;) 

19

I had a holly jolly Christmas..

December 27th, 2010

cause its the best time of the year!! We had a really good Christmas this year.. why you ask? because I lowered all my expectations!! I wrote down a list of things I wanted to do.. and stuck to it.. we were still bouncing around and moving from house to house.. but it wasn’t as rushed.. and I never felt like I was missing out on things while being at the other house.. did I come home exhausted and beat.. of course! but that’s what happens when you celebrate Christmas with a baby in the belly and a 2 year old whose naps were put on hold.. and bedtime was pushed back 3 hours.. 

one of the things on my list that I wanted to do this year..

the gingerbread house.. we did it last year to.. and Olive kind of got it.. but this year.. these kiddies got it! candy.. and icing.. and messy fingers.. oh my!

this trip was filled with family.. and decorating.. and eating.. and just being busy.. I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted to :( but me and the new famalia had a great time together..

this is my favorite picture of the season!.. Olive is finally crawling out of her little shell.. and was walking around talking to people.. and wasn’t glued to my leg.. it was magical..   it only took 2 years and a month.. but I think we are finally here!

This year we traded in Ronnies 7 foot tree.. for this little guy.. they had this tree when they went to Hawaii almost 20 years ago.. and Barbie had even bought mini ornaments.. and a tree skirt.. and these lights still work!! Lord knows it was easier to set up ;)

we held onto our Haffner family traditions.. caesar salad.. escargot and save-on-foods platters.. we had family and friends over… and me and Olive had to finally call it a night at midnight.. yes.. she was still up.. and happy.. and motoring around.. and having a great time.. we actually had to wake her up Christmas morning at 9 and she was not to happy..  until I whispered in her little ear that Santa had come and brought her a present.. and she got it!

my favorite part of being a mama is setting up her Santa treats! filling the stocking.. setting up the Santa gift.. and eating the cookies we left for him.. the only thing we forgot this year was starting our tradition of reading the night before Christmas :( but you cant win them all.. 

we opened presents.. ate yummy breakfast.. and napped.. and off to the shower a little to late.. because I just didnt want to break the Christmas seal by leaving the fun moments.. 

this year was anything Thomas the Train.. she is in love.. she actually picked these boots out herself.. we had to pry them out of her hands at Nordstroms.. so they were purchased..  She loved her porcelain tea set that Santa brought her.. and I see many tea partied in our future.. 

we ate.. we visit more family.. we stayed up way to late playing with scratch tickets.. eating platters that we werent even hungry for.. and watched a little 007.. 

the next morning brought Milestones eggs benny with friends.. a couple more visits.. and we finally drove home at night.. my personality usually wants me to rush home and be home and do laundry.. and I just thought of the fact that I can do that all week if I want.. so we enjoyed our time in Canada.. and came home exhausted.. ordered a pizza.. then crashed and burned..  it was the most solid sleep I have had in a while.. 

it was good.. 

we had the newest Bruce addition this year for Christmas.. and he was so sweet in his little Santa costume!!

as much as I love the holidays.. I am glad they are done.. and I get to go back to family planning.. and what day to get groceries.. easy breezy.. it is nesting time here at the Haffner-Bruce house.. and I am ready to prepare for this newest little baby that is a comin!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

touchey!!

December 24th, 2010

because grandma needed a Christmas tree to :)

December 24th, 2010

because grandma needed a Christmas tree to :)

SHOCKED…

December 20th, 2010

I don’t really know any other word to use.. I thought this little peanut was a boy.. low heart beat.. sitting different.. made me sick to my stomach for almost 4 months :0  but low and behold.. I carry another woman’s soul inside of me.. and I could not be happier.. and I am not just saying that cause I have no other choice.. me and Dustin have always talked about our love for a family of ladies.. the bonds.. the connections.. the estrogen running around the house.. looking for cell phones.. stealing the wrong jackets.. reading each others diaries.. it will be magic.. 

the ultrasound tech told us right away.. in almost the first two minutes.. 

I’m thinking its a girl..

sorry.. what was that.. you are thinking its a girl..  I just made life plans of my two sweet baby sisters in Disneyland together.. and playing high school volleyball with their long ponytails and blue jerseys kickin everyone’s buts.. (oh yes.. it starts) .. they are now going to be known as the Haffner-Bruce girls.. just like I was identified to being a twin for.. well.. I still am.. we are “the twins” and it is great NOW.. but it took a lot of identity searching to realize how amazing it truly is to share someones DNA with them.. everything but the fingerprints! we always said if one of of murdered someone.. we would wear gloves and blame the other.. lol..  yes.. we actually thought like that..  all this happened in the split second she said girl.. and I stopped a couple minutes after to realize that I was literally beaming from ear to ear.. I don’t even think I was listening to her anymore.. I was giving her lame responses like.. oh yah.. the heart! cool.. because I was already laying down the foundation for the next 18 years.. 

it is going to be magical.. just like this next photo.. it is my favorite ultrasound photo to date.. 

I just feel like it is her “stamp” to me.. slapped on my uterus wall..

look mama.. I am here.. get ready for me.. cause I’m a comin!!

It is all so real now.. the ball is rolling.. and things feel more official.. 

I would like to mention that the woman said this was her belly and her two arms.. I almost shit my pants on the table.. I thought I had birthed a half horse man.. but it is in fact her leg.. not her really low-sitting arm.. 

Life is Beautiful..

pure heaven.. yes.. I went shopping solo..

December 19th, 2010

this was not me.. :)

this morning at the crack of dawn.. I went shopping.. alone.. the headache was still there thumping away.. and a hot shower helped.. but I was worried it would take over my day.. I made my way to U village and started the shops.. I had a game plan and intended not to stray..  ok.. but I did have to factor in a new Christmas top ;) 

I beat the crowds.. there was valet parking spots.. I was in and out with no lineups.. moving to alderwood mall though.. that was a different story.. it was packed.. I found my space.. thank you secret.. and shopped until I dropped.. I made sure to take rest breaks.. and drink breaks.. and be on my game.. normally I am dehydrated and tired and crap out after two hours.. but I was in light flexible clothing.. and I was ready to attack.. I strolled past the Santa Clause lineup and was blown away at all the crazies.. parents and children! the Sunday before Christmas and their sweet little girls and boys are dressed up in ringlets.. and pea coats.. and going ape-shit! I even saw one little boy on his daddy’s shoulders licking his fathers head.. and the dad didn’t seemed too phased by it either.. he looked DONE.. 

Dustin called me and told me Aunty Jen stole Olive away for the afternoon. .so we moved out “date plans” from a dinner to a lunch.. he came and met me and we enjoyed our feast.. it was a rocky start to get to that feast though.. I sat at a dirty table while the bartender talked about her tattoos for 15 minutes.. I was standing bedside the table for 5.. and I finally crapped out and caved due to the 15 bags that were cutting of my water retained arms.. but the host was beyond nice enough to lend me her cell phone to call Dustin.. mine had died.. (which I think was very peace-fuly meant to be)..

I successfully shopped.. and  covered my bases.. and all I have left are some stocking stuffers.. it feels great to be done.. and I will be in bed early tonight!

phew.. 

the headache finally showed his ugly face..

December 18th, 2010

so that 3 day headache that has been lurking.. finally showed his face.. and it was bad.. my whole family suffers from migraines and I am all to familiar with them.. I watched my friends sweet little baby while she ran out for a half hour.. and the moment she literally shut the door.. it stared.. the vision went.. (I get aura migraines) and I couldn’t see my hands..  or the paper I was writing on.. and I tried to breathe.. I had a 2 year old.. and  a 7 week old in my care :0  I tried to call Dustin and my sister and could barely dial the buttons.. I called my bestie next door.. (what will I do when she leaves.. her house is always stocked!) and she ran over a tylenol.. I never had a migraine with Olives pregnancy but this one was coming hard and fast.. I text my friend to come home and by the time she got here.. my speech was gone.. I could only see half of people faces and I was trying to hold a  really funny conversation with my friend that should have been video taped.. thankfully papa was in the town center and he came over so I could sleep.. i headed up and tried to text Dustin that I thought i was getting better.. and this was the message I sent him.. 

Thisisis bad.. I am stupid and right with no name and stuff bad

yes.. needless to say he called concerned.. 

thankfully it is slowly going away.. but I need to definitely get off this computer.. 

this may be my most random post to date..

December 17th, 2010

I say that because it is 8 days until Christmas.. and I have a million things running through my brain. including a mini headache that has been lurking in the corner of my skull for three days.. oy veh 

these last few days have been very testing on me.. and I thought I would jazz it up with making some of daddy’s favorite treats.. the only thing he ever asks for over any holiday.. sugar cookies! normally I have everything in my house for them.. but yesterday.. not so much.. and so me and Olive got on our gear.. headed to Central Market and made a batch.. thick and chewy.. just how we like em! and than you guessed it.. straight to the freezer!!

is this hat not off the tizzo!

she is all about helping her mama.. which I am embracing more and more each day.. I slow down and put things into 2 year old speed and watch.. I have realized its much easier than trying to do things fast my way while she gets frustrated..  and because she loves her own little kitchen set.. she had to go over and check on her own little “cake” and put it in the hot oven.. it was so sweet that I risked my floured sugary hands to grab the camera and snap some photos.. and than her favorite part.. (who can blame her)..

the spoon lick.. although in 2010 I think its called give-your-kids-worms now?! although I am still alive from my spoon licking days.. and to this day.. I remember the moments when my mom gave me a giant electric beater filled with batter to lick off.. I couldn’t tell you what she actually baked that day!! but I remember the beater.. and she was in heaven..  it definitely helped get me in the spirit.. and I died the icing red.. green and white with sprinkles.. nice and festive!!

moving onto my New Years Resolutions.. this year.. I am being a realist.. of course I will throw in my usual 10 pound weight loss which I make no attempt in what so ever.. I will vow to call friends more.. but I still prefer email.. its easier with a 2 year old trying to rip the phone from my ear.. and I will perform my wife-ly duties 6-7 times a week.. hahaha.. just kidding.. 

but this year.. I am being a realist.. a tired, soon to be mama of two realist.. so these are my two things.. 

1. I will rinse off my dishes before they go into the dishwasher.. when I was at my friends baking day extravaganza in Canada.. I noticed how spotless her glasses were.. which made me realize how gross mine were and really consider making an effort with my own..
2. when I am making phone calls to people I don’t know.. I am going to start off the conversation with a “how are you today?”  I find I go into these panic modes of what I was calling to ask for.. and they say their hello.. how may I help you.. and I go into this long spiel about what I need.. and its no different than when I walk up to a table all chipper.. and ask how they are.. and they say “pepsi”.

so there they are.. easy breezy.. and yet.. they will change the world!! ok.. maybe just my world.. 

and now.. entering back into my world.. it is starting.. the transition into big sister.. some of the new babies toys are coming out.. and she is such a good helper and she shares everything and cant wait to let go of some of the lime light!!

umm. not so much..

look at those crazy eyes!!

in her defence.. she never had one of these growing up.. all two years ago.. this one is borrowed from aunty tiffy and she loves it!

she is still to cool for public school.. 

let the comparing begin! I am smaller this time around.. I think due to the fact that it is not summer and I am not a hot-bloated-water-retained-mess!! yes please! although ask me if I am ok with it at the end of may when bikini season starts :0

I should have stayed in bed..

December 15th, 2010

today was one of those days.. they happen very rarely in my world..  of course I have bad mini moments every day.. but this was shit on top of shit.. and I should have just stayed in bed.. slept in.. stayed in the jammiesand just hibernate all day.. my patience are being tested.. and I need to crawl out of this hole.. i think a call to my sister will do the trick.. just waiting for my headache to ease up before I put the receiver to my ear.. 

WOW! that was great..awesome.. it worked for us this year..

December 14th, 2010

there’s the classic “mom shot” and Olive looks bored out of her mind! but really.. she was just watching the snow fall..

so this year we traded champagne bubbles.. sneaking into the hot tub late night and a nice expensive dinner out for some more quality family time.. I had accepted it weeks earlier when our babysitter outcome was looking grim.. and there was that part of me that was ok with it.. because every year I would think about how much olive would love the hotel pool.. and the big comfy bed.. and waking up without her always made me want to rush home and get her..  next year is debatable ;)

we got up and played the usual get ready dance.. do we have everything.. is the car packed.. should we bring that.. the “pineapple express” down pour that I was watching out my front window scared me a bit.. I was going to pick function over fashion this year.. cause who are we kidding.. once those shoes get soaked.. I check out.. we started to drive away.. and the rain just stopped.. we made it downtown calm and stress free.. valet’d the car and were prepared to leave our goods in the storage room because we were to early.. and once the nice man saw up trying to “organize” the stuff we would need just for our two hours without a room.. he kicked it up a notch..

you know what.. I will just move someone else around and get you a room now!

sa-weet! we are Hyatt Gold Passport members.. (don’t be jealous ;) and there is aways this option to upgrade if available.. which we never seem to get it.. but this year.. you guessed it.. we got it! and it couldn’t come at a perfect time.. corner unit king bed.. here we come.. and we were shocked to walk into this.. 

a hallway!!.. a large foyer (perfect for crib and sleeping child) and than a hallway that led to our secret love layer  place we crashed at midnight.. and windows galore.. yes please!

than the Christmas extravaganza began! we had been pumping Santa up for weeks now.. and she was ready.. we were all dressed to go.. totally uncomfortable.. but we were going to see Santa.. than probably come back and change.. um.. not so much.. Santa.. on a Sunday.. downtown Seattle.. means lineups.. Dustin warned me.. and I foolishly never listened.. “who would brave this weather?” was what I kept thinking..  We kept checking in randomly throughout the day.. and the line never weakened.. so we decided to go the next morning.. 

so instead we shopped.. carousel’d.. which was so much “fun”..we ate and like most things with children.. we had to change the schedule around a tad.. and it was ok.. instead of El Mexico at 6pm watching the snow fall.. we went at 2.. ate nachos on the family side.. and than enjoyed an egg nog latte while having the snow fall on us at 6.. she loved the snow.. she kept trying to catch it.. and than lick it off her hands.. we are hoping it was just soap bubbles :0.. she posed for my countless photos.. she even tried to take some of me.. (see picture 9).. 

we made sure to take some baby “timeouts” so that she could enjoy the day too. .here she is with daddy at Nordstroms.. and apparently I have never noticed these little kid stations.. or really appreciated their giant aquarium.. until I had a kid.. than it made sense.. it makes parents stay in that section! and it worked.. 

we even went back to the hotel and tried to nap her.. I shouldn’t have wasted my time.. and I knew it.. but I still tried..  she was having none of it.. she knew there was fun to be had.. so by 8 o’clock when we went to the Cheesecake Factory for a snack ( it was this or Planet Hollywood.. we tried to pick the loudest place possible for a really tired 2 year old.. ) and she was done.. she did not want to sit in a chair.. or eat.. she wanted to just run around.. 

so we made our way back to the hotel.. dry.. still no rain.. and thats when Olive got her second wind.. she was ready for more.. so we did what any sane parents who didnt want to stay in did.. we went to the hotel pool! 

this was her crazy running up and down the hallway laughing stage of the night.. 

her and daddy swam and she showed him some of her swimming lesson tricks.. jumping off the edge 40 times and kicking her legs.. we warmed her little legs up in the hot tub to avoid the purple lips.. we tuckered the crap out of her and went back to the room..  we jammied up.. cuddled.. and plopped her in bed.. where she conked out so fast.. I could hear her heavy breathing from our side of the room.. than Dust grabbed a six pack.. a bag of S&V’s and we rented a $15.00 movie.. which was so hysterical.. we thought we were going to die of laughter and wake her up..  we called it a night in our king size down pillowed bed and conked out.. 

and than the morning came.. it was Santa time!! so again.. we put on the clothes.. and I tried to shower with hotel products which never work out for me.. I was assuming we would pack up and go.. and I thought that my sensitive skin could handle the bar of hotel soap.. so when I got out to blow dry.. I noticed a large pink rash all over my face and body.. these Santa photos were going to be awesome!

we went and lined up.. only 5 people this time! thank you Monday morning.. we ate our sugar cookies.. drank our apple cider.. admired the little house and made our way to the big man..she was fine until it was our turn.. than her grip tightened.. and she wanted mama.. but there were no tears.. they had a bubble machine and toys.. these people were professionals! the man put me behind everyone this year.. so I am hoping for a smaller version of myself this year ;)

we headed over to our favorite breakfast joint Cj’s.. we used to live a block from there.. and they always had the best brunch take out.. and we ate and Olive was a rock star.. and coloured and ate lots.. and we headed North to catch a nap before work.. and unload.. 

It definitely wasn’t the easiest night away.. but I tried to embrace it and accept it.. and know that next year will only be harder with another bubbas here.. but needless to say.. I am glad to be home!! I was so thankful for the no rain.. and even waking up to sunny skies the next morning.. there is nothing worse than being soaked going in and out of stores and we were grateful for staying dry!!

ps.. I really love Nordstroms. I dont know how I will live without it.. their window displays warm my heart every year.. they are just perfect.. this may also be my inspiration for next years christmas tree..

and the cherry on the icing.. this song as we pulled into Mill Creek.. oh yah baby.. the miracle of Christmas!!

the year I was bigger than Santa.. yes Santa..

December 11th, 2010

so tomorrow is our 4th annual Seattle Christmas shopping hotel day.. we go down and get our Santa photos done.. we eat at El Mexico restaurant..  we stay at our favorite hotel.. Olive 8.. and we hot tub and get our Christmas shopping done.. We go to our favorite Santa at Nordstroms.. where they still take their photos on film so it gives you that “old fashioned” look..  it is always great.. although I fear tomorrow will be torrential down pour the whole time.. but I will get over it..  I am starting to think of our Santa photo outfits.. no doubt Olive will be in something striped.. probably in the green and red family.. I however am dreading it.. because of this photo.. 

yes.. the year I was bigger than santa.. I remember at the time manypeople saying how great I looked.. I had just had a baby 2 weeks earlier.. (I am a Christmas die hard..c section or not.. I was keeping my tradition!) and I was feeling good.. not to tired.. and pumped.. than we got this photo in the mail 5 days later.. and to this day it sits on papas dining room table all year round.. and is now referred to as.. you guessed it.. “the year I was bigger than Santa.” I have tried to blame angles and lighting.. but who are we kidding.. this is our fourth year at this exact same Santa setup.. and I am holding my own in the other ones.. which brings me to my next weird fact.. Olive just turned two.. yet this is her third christas! riddle me that..

This truly is the best Santa around.. they built this little Santa house just for this occasion.. there are elves and Mrs. Clause.. and great decorations up every year.. and you are served hot apple cider and fresh homemade sugar cookies while you wait! I have always said to Dustin that even when we move home.. we will be driving down to keep this tradition alive!! 

so the photo to the left is clearly when I was child free..  young.. fresh.. heels on :0  I had wanted to do this shot in our  photo for a while.. I mean how funny.. dust is a rotten little boy who was losing his shit.. and I was his mother disciplining him.. we never told the lady we were doing it.. and she goes.. “ok. ready” .. we did the pose.. everyone was hysterical.. it is my favorite to date.. 

the second year.. well.. we all saw that one.. but the third year.. I kept it smart.. cute toque.. somewhat hiding behind the big guy.. but to this day I wonder why I wore those shoes?  and good lord.. who knows what tomorrow holds.. I am tired.. and preggo.. and ghostly white.. and I was just butchered at the salon.. my hair makes me look like I am ten years old.. so tomorrow.. I will go to my old salon down town.. ( this is also my 4th year going before santa photos!.. raandom.. ) and hope they can fix the cut.. I am aiming for looking at least 18 ;)  

we have been prepping olive for santa for almost a month now.. 

guess whos coming?  he brings treats and presents.. he gives you chocolate!!

I know it wont work! but am hoping we may have a shot at it.. I wanted to keep with the bear theme.. but she doesn’t have a bear costume anymore.. and I think when she is 11 years old.. she may be in therapy for the things we used to make her wear in public.. so this year.. it will be scratched.. I know my mother is agreeing with me right now ;)

time to pack.. and in Olives words.. ” Antas come in”

mamas.. help!

December 09th, 2010

ok.. today I had that child.. I woke up really motivated and realized that I have to start going to the gym this pregnancy.. I was so disciplined with Olives pregnancy.. on my feet 5 days a week.. prenatal yoga video 4-5 times a week.. the gym.. and now.. not so much.. my hips hurt.. my back aches.. and I am finally realizing that its because my body isn’t in motion as much as it was the first time around.. but that’s not what I need help with.. 

today I put Olive in the gym daycare.. I talked about how fun the gym will be as we walked there.. I went in.. took off her coat.. introduced her.. and it started.. the screaming.. the “mamas” and the wailing.. I just gave a crooked smile and walked out.. this book I am reading is really making me realize how important taking care of myself is.. and so I left and threw on the Ipod.. and hit the elliptical.. it felt great.. I loved the music.. I went to lift weights.. stretched and called it a day.. mostly because the little baby was not liking it to much.. I walked into the daycare.. and I could hear her before I saw her.. she was clung like a leech to the woman’s back just yelling “daddy.. daddy.. daddy.. daddy” (not mommy.. daddy :(  her face was red and blotchy.. and she was gasping for air.. they said she did it for the entire 45 minutes.. i walked over to get her and she leapt into my arms and and would not even lift her head out of my neck.. I tried to make a joke out of it.. and was like.. oh great.. I have that child.. and asked what they thought the best approach was.. and they said the more I bring her.. the more she will warm up.. but it just broke my heart.. 

I know my time with her is limited before baby #2 rocks her world.. and I dont want her gasping for air every day.. but lord knows I need it.. and this child needs it.. but what approach do I take next? do I keep throwing her in there.. with the same routine? and wait for her to grasp that it is fun.. I walked out feeling defeated with her leached around my really sore just worked out arms.. 

I will take advice in all shapes and forms!!

the love was noticed!

I just went and checked the mail.. finally.. and was expecting a few Christmas cards :) but did not expect this.. today I was spoiled.. via mail..

starting with these.. I opened them and have a slight remembrance of taking about these with someone.. but I don’t know from who.. please tell me so I can thank you in person.. I love them by the way! and have already used one!!

and than there was a thank you card from our babysitter.. she is the sweetest thing in the world.. a thank you card for letting her play with Olive and now she can buy Christmas gifts for her family.. seriously.. are you sure this girl is only 13?!

and the place where I bought my beautiful camera strap sent me extra camera strap clips and a discount for more stuff from their great website!

and here are the stickers! genius! there are ones for the belly.. and there are ones to stick on your babies sweet onesies while you are snapping photos of them.. and when you look back in 20 years wondering how old they were.. bam.. there is the sticker!

thank you for all the love everyone! 

life is beautiful..

cont..

then came the ladies baking day!! it was fun.. I mentally flashed back to mine and lus baking day.. and the pure exhaustion and soar feet.. so I made my batch of goods in the morning with my mamas help.. and watched some other people bake.. I saw friends that I had not seen in a long time..  and ate way to much.. the host of the party aways does such a great job.. Mrs. Jen Rogers is her name.. and hosting is her game.. she always has drinks.. and treats.. and a massive island in her kitchen that worked perfectly.. 

there were 11 of us girls.. and we all were able to bring home treats.. mine were left at my mamas house for the holidays.. everybody wins this way.. mostly my ass;) it felt great to be out until midnight with some ladies.. and just talk.. and catch up.. and see baby bellies..there are a handful of us.. I think I know 7 people now. that are preggo and due in May.. so it is great to compare and see where everyone is in their pregnancies.. which leads me to this book.. 

I am only six chapters in.. and it is amazing.. and speaks to me very clearly.. I think back to when I would babysit 3-4 kids at once.. (for like $3.00 an hour I might add ;) and be stress free.. and still clean the kitchen and organize the kiddies rooms.. and make crafts.. and love it all and dream of when I would have my own kiddies.. 

flash forward 10 years.. and I was struggling with one.. the kitchen dishwasher could wait.. and I longed for the 8 oclock hour when daddy would come home from work.. how did this happen? I used to be the babysitter who would wake the kids up after the parents left!  (sorry to the parents reading this.. ) and I would play with them and never want them to nap.. and now.. I live for Olives nap and bed schedule..  this book is really helping me come to terms with some things.. I thought it was more a gag book.. but reading it makes you feel normal and more sane..  and my favorite quote de jour fits in right about now.. 

the race is long.. and in the end.. its only with yourself.. 

for me.. it doesn’t get any truer than that statement.. competition and worrying about what school they will go to.. or what language they will learn.. and if they are learning fast enough.. it all weighs on you.. and in the end.. they all end up in kindergarten learning colours and numbers and eating their own boogers!!

 and I need to do a major shout out to Maddie.. I know my sister “helped” but I am absolutely in love with the treats you made for Olive.. she even fed exd this banner down to be here in time for Olives birthday.. unfortunately.. thanksgiving weekend stopped mail transportation.. so it arrived late.. but it will be used for the next 100 years.. until it falls apart.. and the burlap! it is perfect.. and so us..  and don’t even get me started on this collage! it is perfect.. and I am dying for her to wake up from her nap so I can find a home for it in her room!!

ok.. I think it needs more of a close up!

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