I finally saw SATC! .. and I loved it.. although I could have stared at poo on a plate and loved that too.. anytime a SATC addict gets a fill or a glimpse of the rest of the story plot.. it satisfies me.. I also think the fact that everyone else slammed it.. made me go in there with no expectations.. therefor I was not disappointed! It was rainy… and gloomy.. and I went all alone with my giant bag of popcorn that I come no where close to finishing!! There were only about 8 of us in the theater.. which is what I expected for an 11am Sunday movie! I was laughing so hard at some points.. I actually had to bury my face into my scarf.. I have always been a fan of random SATC marathons.. I own all 6 seasons in a beautifully wrapped pink satin case.. and on random lazy Sunday afternoons.. ( I have extremely limited cable in this house.. and whenever I get tired of watching KBTS public television I pop them in) .. I always start with season 4.. my favorite season.. I love Mirandas pregnancy/birth episodes even more now that I have had a child.. and you just feel her pain.. and her going from one extreme world to the next.. and her honest mothering… I always leave those marathons wanting to go shopping.. and start working out more.. which is also why P90X is coming back into my world today :)
I also am reading Woman Food and God.. I saw it on Oprah. .and I will do and read anything Oprah tells me to do.. so I went and purchased it for my travel readings.. I really like it.. I have two more chapters to go.. and it is a great concept and really puts HOW/WHY you eat into perspective.. I have never really thought that I have any real food issues.. other than coming from a family of 6.. with usually one or two guests sitting at the table.. so if you didn’t eat fast.. you didn’t eat! It is teaching me to listen to my hunger cues.. and stop when I am full.. pretty simple.. I don’t know why I am holding onto these last 10 baby pounds.. I honestly believe that if I start tomorrow.. I can have them off in a week.. and than the week comes.. and I think.. oh next week.. something I have heard quitters say a million times.. I have always been very active and weight was never really an issue.. (although i always thought I needed to lose 10 pounds to feel happy ) and than you look back at those photos.. and realize it was not even physically possible.. my only issue right now.. is that I don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin.. and that I cannot deal with.. I feel like anytime I eat something when I am with people.. they are wondering why I am eating that if I want to lose ten pounds.. and I feel like the chubby girl.. every month that went by after I had Olive just took me further and further from my goal of feeling healthy.. you start off at 2 weeks.. and people say “wow you look amazing for just having a baby” and than you say 2 months.. and people say “wow.. you look amazing for just having a baby” and than you have to suck up your pride and say.. this is my one and a half year old.. and they don’t say anything!! and believe me.. I know it is all mental and in my head at this point.. and this is my way of throwing it out into the world and cleansing my inner voice so that I can move on and deal with more important issues.. because I dont really believe that 5 pounds will bring me enlightenment.. I know I am also trapped in this world of balancing who I was.. and who I am now.. I have days where I would love nothing more than to cuddle up with my baby girl and read books.. and go for walks and teach her things about the world.. but there are also those days where I go stir crazy waiting for her naps to be over.. and I just want to run to the store child free.. and take my time.. and go grab a coffee or go get my hair done without trying to find a babysitter.. I know it is a balance I will deal with until the end of time.. but is there really a “trick” that makes it all work out..besides self knowledgement and confidence.. is this why woman and mamas are the strongest people out there.. because they hold it all in selflessly and give and give some more..
on a lighter note! the sun is shining.. I have my health.. and today I will teach my baby some more about this world!
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